We all deal with breakups and relationship breakdowns in different ways. In this field I do not pretend to be an expert but because I shared my story lots of broken hearts have reached out asking what are the next steps and how did I/am I coping. The truth is I wrote down my days in a blog sharing my true self, so this really helped me both creatively and mentally and not to mention I surrounded myself by friends that loved me back to life. But when normality resumes, and you can only look forward, things can become a little tougher than you imagined and I really do get it. For some new singles you can start off being the strongest you and have moments where you *feel* those feelings unexpectedly and for others it can be a slow yet steady incline to happiness, albeit a new and different kind of happiness. So if I had to say what I think would be my top three steps to pro-actively heal a heart that is broken - here they are.
#1. Keep Moving. Both Physically & Emotionally. Walk it out, run it out, gym it out and most certainly yoga it out. Physical exercise increases your body temperature which can have a calming effect on your mind and body, as well as releasing endorphins which have that feel-good factor all around. You can create a great routine by working out daily or at least regularly which is what you need to re-focus and regroup with yourself. If sleeping is a struggle, working out will enable you to tire your body out and get a better night's rest than if you choose not to hit the gym, and besides, it will give you the time alone with your thoughts and enable you to think a little more clearly towards what you want. Physical exercise is obviously better to factor into your day than those negative vices we can all easily turn to when things in our lives seem like they’ve somewhat been turned upside down. I mentioned yoga, which is one of my fortés when it comes to fitness. Why do I like yoga? Yoga focuses an intention and is a practice that separates oneself from one's ego. Sometimes, when it comes to breakups, we can focus too much on a pride being injured rather than an actual love that is lost. If you can find a way, perhaps through practising yoga, to set positive intentions for yourself in the present moment and remove your physical self from one’s ego, then you may find the healing process a little speedier than you might have originally imagined.
“Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it” - Colin Powell
#2. Create A Solid Routine. Aside from working out, each day you really need to know what is what. Plan hour by hour if you can, especially if things still feel a little blurry and if you have great friends to keep you in check, ensure to count on them - it’s what they are there for. I would recommend trying not to fill your time with rebound potentials and those that offer distractions to what could potentially be filling an emotional/physical void in your life. It’s far better to be throwing yourself back into work as it creates a much needed purpose and although it may be tough to think about in terms of your energy levels, but if you can find a way to help others it will help you right back. If your routine factors in work, time with friends, time for working out and even time for yourself to feel rather than suppress anything that may not be good for the soul, you ought to do that. Also, try not to think you can always get things done tomorrow as it really is best not to be avoidant as this won’t help to heal your broken heart.
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal” - Steve Maraboli.
#3 Clearing Your Chakras. For those of you that are not really into energy in the sense of understanding it or being interested in it on any level, then you might think I am being a little kooky. I only learnt about the 7 Chakras we possess as human beings after heartbreak hotel and decided to try and learn more about them and tune into my own physical/emotional imbalances on an internal/external level. If this is not your cup of tea I would suggest you ought to think about just being mindful of oneself. I know mindfulness is a little bit of a buzzword at the moment! I would suggest, if you are opting into learning about this healing method then do some reading on it first. The Chakras relate to groundedness, sexuality, self-esteem, love, intuition, communication, and inner/outer beauty. The Chakras explore how you are feeling physically & emotionally and your levels of acceptance with yourself and external influences. It's good for getting to know yourself a littler better for forging ahead in a new life unplanned.
“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”- Albert Einstein